Give Jokes

I was going to give my wife chocolates but my fat friends ate them. The wife-"You don't even have friends"

What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?

Everyone has a good heart they just don't know what to do with it. I say give some one some love. Hate is soooooo stupid love is soooo smart!

People always ask what the secret of our families happiness is. It is simple really. 1 Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week. 2. We all give each other a hand when needed. Last but not least we play twister.

22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. 24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back. 31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!

Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on Karien.

Karien: Will I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!

Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.

Karien: That is so boring!

Daiana: Will just work with me please?

Karien: I'll give you a day...24 hours mom!

MISSING MISSING!!! 😢😢

NAME: PRUNO PENANDES 👍🤝

MISSING: 27/6/21 VS BELGIUM 🤔🤔

LAST SEEN: DIVING AT OLD TRAFFORD, CRYING TO REFEREES🤬😿

POSSIBLE LOCATIONS: PENALTY SPOT🥅

"GIVE ME PENALTY”🤬🤬

"I ONLY STATPAD AGAINST FARMERS MY FRIEND"😁😁

Friend: Why did you touch me? Me: That guy in the corner with no hair , glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.

When I become a parent I’m gonna regergetate my food to feed my children.

It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.

Hey girl are you osteoporosis, because your giving me a "Bone" condition

Teacher makes 1 kid recite the abcs and the other count to 10. Teacher: you can kill 2 birds with1 stone. Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head. Johnny at school: you can kill a bird and give a man a concusssion.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Knock Knock moon, GIVE ME CHEESE

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

if my boobies are fish then am i salmon boobies. please give generously.

once there was a boat its friends said: "it's time to come back." and the boat said: "No way I don't give into pier pressure.

If you have a twin sister do you have the same name? Only if you’re mom and dad give you the same name

1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? - A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? - he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words... - “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance... - only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours... - lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life