Jackie gives better head than Marilyn.
Give Jokes
A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back.
The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.
Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.
A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”
“No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”
A dwarf walks into a bar.
He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the 🥃, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.
If you give this a thumbs down, you're gay. If you give it a thumbs up, you're straight.
A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 2 beers." The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guy's beer bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender, "Hey, what are you doing? I didn't order Bud Lights, I want Corona beer." The bartender replies, "Sir, I gave you a mix of Bud Light and Corona, and it's on the house, everyone is drinking Corona tonight."
The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.
Yo life so miserable, the adoption center wouldn't sell you, just give you away!
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
How do cookies 🍪 give three cheers?
Chip, chip, hooray!
What kind of punch do little kids give to other little kids? The Sandy Hook.
Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
Ha ha! Get rickrolled!
I think your hairline might have the hiccups.
Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
I would give you a thrashing, but that would be animal abuse.
Never gonna give you up.
Me before: Why do bandanas exist? They're ugly.
Me after seeing your hairline: Oh, I seeee.
Me giving pro tip: Get a bandana LMAO.
So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.
The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"
What should people do with their floppy dicks?
I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!
I give you 31 because we will do the 69 later, thanks.
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
