Give jokes
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
Why are Republicans supporting giving felons the right to vote?
Because their own personal jeebus is a felon!
Why didn't Hitler's girlfriend like giving him a blowjob? It left a Nazi taste in her mouth...
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
Somebody give me a peanut. I just ate an EpiPen.
Did you know "bj" ends with "job" because if you are giving a man a blow job, it sucks? But if you’re giving it to a woman, it's called "eating out" because it’s a privilege.
Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.
Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.
Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.
Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.
Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.
Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.
Kid: It's not an Apple product.
Indian poor dad: It's a banana.
You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!
Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!
An old woman walks into an outdoor supplies store.
"I'd like an infrared gorilla," she says.
The clerk proceeds to give her an infrared gorilla from the back room.
"We've had hundreds of these things in the back for ages," exclaims the clerk. "You're the first person who's actually wanted one."
Earlier that day...
Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.
Mission on space.
Mars: Moon? You okay?
Moon:...
Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!
*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
Like this,
it will give you good luck. See for yourself!
What did a fat cow give you?
Homework.
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
I gun give money.
It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!
What is the difference between a comma and a period?
A comma gives you a pause, but a period gives you sleep.
I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!