in English class the teacher says (Teacher): Kids you need to say the alphabet ok Sally you first. (Sally): Okay a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z. (Teacher): good job Sally. Then the teacher called on 4 other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on little Johnny. (Teacher): Little Johnny say the alphabet. (Little Johnny): bcefghijklmnopsvwxyz. (Teacher): no Johnny that’s not right. (Johnny): oh I forgot u r a q t. (Teacher). No still not right and thank you. (Johnny): oh I’ll give you the d later . (Class): (laughing). (Teacher): GO TO THE OFFICE NOW .
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
Hey I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive, unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you at least.
How do you disrespect an Asian
Give them driving lessons
How do you piss off a color blind person? Give them a rubix cube.
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
my mom give me your stuff bc u have bad grades me HOW ABOUT MY 5 LITTLE BROTHER I HAVE A- HE HAS f- she lets him play anyway and i dont
I asked my kid to give me a hand that motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm
Once I almost died ill give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job
I like Christmas. It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys. :) yaaaaay 😁
What chips are you not allowed to give to orphans
Family size
I give these jokes a 9/11
James Bond: vodka martini Bartender: shaken not sterd James Bond: do I look like I give a DAMN
If somebody gives you Lemons,cut them in half and do the Juice in his eyes.
Don't give up on your dreams................... keep sleeping
how do you know when you're disliked? when they always give you the camera for group photos
your so ugly that when your mama had u she tried to give u away but there was nowhere to give u
Hey can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.
What do you give a pig when it has a rash 🐷
Oinkment 🐽
It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday", then they want to give you a spanking.
