A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."
Give Jokes
How do you make a lesbian upset?
Give her a multiplication test.
Violets are blue, roses are red.
Last night your mom was giving me head.
I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
Just give me my money (clap clap clap).
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.
You gotta give it to JD Vance. He is consistent; he is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
Well, somebody has to cushion the blow.
Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?
She doesn't eat pigs.
¡Hola, soy Dora!
Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
Why are Republicans supporting giving felons the right to vote?
Because their own personal jeebus is a felon!
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."
I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.
BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?
My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
What is the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Do you want to give your life to God and be in Heaven?
How are Black people like communism?
Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.
I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
