My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.
I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
You know why Elmer Fudd always came out hunting rabbits in the woods? Because Bugs Bunny would not stop flirting with his girlfriend.
I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.
your mom
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
"Knock, knock!""Who's there?""Abby."
"Abby who?""Your Mexican girlfriend."
Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?
Me: Look at the stars in the sky.
Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?
Me: No, it’s a waste of time.
Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.
Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.
I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.
She does not exist.
Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
You will never have a girlfriend.
My girlfriend's name is Candice.
Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D
My girlfriend said she's having a horrible time with her period. I ask her which one, but realize she's not talking about school...
We don't see each other very much.
what makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar? They can't stand up for themselves.
how old are my girlfriends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjBTsoYph48 oh and there my little sisters
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
