My friend told me he had a sister. i asked if she was hot and he said she was 8. that wasnt my question

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.

Cremation, The last chance for a smoking hot body.

Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that

Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA

I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I’ve made wet this year to -1.

what do you get after a leper has a hot bath… porridge.

Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute ©, delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: “I’m just kidding!”

What do you call Stephen HAawking on fire

Hot wheels

Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”

Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?

A: The honor roll

What do you call Stephan hawkings on fire HOT WHEELS

On a hot summers day a famous celebrity tweeted " it is a beautiful day and I`m deciding which kid to have fun with today" to which the local priest replied " I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today".

Guy walks into a bar. Sees a hot girl. Walks up to her and says “your getting laid tonight” She replies “what are you some sort of psychic” He says “No i’m just stronger than you”.

are you a volcano? because you’re hot and i really lava you

One day there were two muffins in an oven, one of the muffins said, “man its hot in here.” The other one said “Oh my god! A talking muffin!!!”

what did the sun say to the earth am i hot

a hot dog and a banana had a race who won

the WIENER

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, “Man, it’s hot in here”. The other muffin says, “OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!”

Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.

Why was the obtuse angle hot?

It Was More Than 90*

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