I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
Cremation, The last chance for a smoking hot body.
Why was the obtuse angle hot?
It Was More Than 90*
My friend told me he had a sister. i asked if she was hot and he said she was 8. that wasnt my question
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."
His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that
Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA
Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
On a hot summers day a famous celebrity tweeted " it is a beautiful day and I`m deciding which kid to have fun with today" to which the local priest replied " I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today".
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first. Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first." The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die." Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
a hot dog and a banana had a race who won
the WIENER
Why can’t the anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke? : because every time she sang the line “fire away” some one starting shooting!
why was it so hot in a square room? because all the corners are 90 degrees
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says "Make me one with everything."
I got sent to the principals office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels
I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection"... But she did.
A : Whats the similarity between your girlfriend and the Sun?
B : They're both hot?
A : They're both massive.
I pushed a disabled kid in a fire then called him hot wheels.
