Girl jokes
Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"
Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."
"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?
She was fed up with the hole business.
An e-girl went to go high five a tree, but the tree left her hanging.
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?
So you can read her lips.
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?
The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.
Why are some girls scared easily?
They don't have balls.
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.
We just clicked.
Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.