Girl jokes
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?
He took a girl's innocence.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?
Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.
Everything is made in China... except for baby girls.
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.
The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?
She was fed up with the hole business.
Why are some girls scared easily?
They don't have balls.
An e-girl went to go high five a tree, but the tree left her hanging.
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?
So you can read her lips.
Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."