Girl jokes
Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?
He took a girl's innocence.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?
Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.
Everything is made in China... except for baby girls.
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?
She was fed up with the hole business.
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
How do you make a blonde girl stop screaming in bed? Pull out of her.
My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.
I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.
We just clicked.
What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They can’t say no.
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.
Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield