Girl jokes

Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?

So you can read her lips.

A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.

Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.

"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.

That's what Elliot Rodger did.

Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.

Why are some girls scared easily?

They don't have balls.

An e-girl went to go high five a tree, but the tree left her hanging.

How do you make a blonde girl stop screaming in bed? Pull out of her.

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?

She said a monster attacked her.

A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".

So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"

A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"

Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"

I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.

It's funny that everyone is depressed, like, I mean:

Bullys are depressed.

Nerds are depressed.

Bad girls/boys are depressed.

Kind humans are depressed.

What do teenage girls and happy meals have in common?

They both come with a toy.

I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.

I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

Because she is a girl.