Girl jokes

Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"

I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.

We just clicked.

My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.

My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.

How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?

Put ranch dressing on it.

What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?

They can’t say no.

My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.

She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.

How do you make a blonde girl stop screaming in bed? Pull out of her.

A girl kept looking through the window whilst the boys got changed!

I, as a boy, was getting annoyed, so I found an interesting magazine in the corner. So, what did I do? Reload and fire!

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?

She said a monster attacked her.

A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".

So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"

A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"

Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"

I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.

It's funny that everyone is depressed, like, I mean:

Bullys are depressed.

Nerds are depressed.

Bad girls/boys are depressed.

Kind humans are depressed.

A girl called me ugly.

So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.

Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

Because she is a girl.

I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.

I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.