Girl jokes

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.

Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?

So you can read her lips.

A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.

Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.

"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.

That's what Elliot Rodger did.

Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.

Why are some girls scared easily?

They don't have balls.

My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.

I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.

We just clicked.

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?

She said a monster attacked her.

A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"

Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"

I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.

It's funny that everyone is depressed, like, I mean:

Bullys are depressed.

Nerds are depressed.

Bad girls/boys are depressed.

Kind humans are depressed.

What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?

Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

Because she is a girl.

Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"

I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.

I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

A dad told his son never to hit girls, so the son replied, "I promise."

When the son got older, he was doing the dirty with "a girl," and the girl says, "Spank me, daddy..." and the son responds, "My dad said never to hit a girl."

Then the "girl" takes off the wig, and it's his dad, and the dad said, "Good job, son!"

Son:...... um