Girl

Girl jokes

Bathroom

  • So I was at home, and I went to take a shower, and I accidentally walked in on my brother having sex with some girl. So I left. A couple minutes later, I needed my headphones to listen to music, so I asked my mom where she was. She told me she was in the shower. Our house only has one bathroom. Sweet home Alabama.

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  • Something

  • Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"

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  • Microwave

  • What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?

    The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.

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  • Hell

  • A guy was doing bad things and died and went to hell.

    Demon: Why you sad?

    Guy: I’m in hell, can’t you see?

    Demon: Well, we have fun here at hell.

    Guy: Really? Nice.

    Demon: We do sleeping in on Mondays.

    Guy: OoOoOo

    Demon: Tuesdays we swim in our lava or dive in fire. If you die, you’re already dead ☠️

    Guy: Ok, does that mean I’m a ghost?

    Demon: No, you're not a ghost.

    Demon: Wednesdays we do a dance party and smoke and drink 🍺

    Guy: Ooooooo, I can’t wait 😜

    Demon: Thursdays we drink all day until we throw up and die, and you're already dead, remember that?

    Guy: Ok, but I am dead, and if I die again, I was already dead, right?

    Demon: Yup.

    Demon: I have a question: Are you gay, and do you like kissing fire girls, and if you die, you are already dead?

    Guy: Ummm, I am not gay, and I don’t like kissing fire girls 😱😱😱

    Demon: Then you won’t like Friday or Saturday or Sunday, heheh.

    Guy: I’m dead for real in the hell 🪦🏴‍☠️☠️☠️💀

    Hell helll helll R.I.P hell is gone for now.

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  • Class

  • A 6-year-old told the class the first time she got AIDS. The teacher listened. She said she scraped her knee. The girl was sent to an asylum. When she got out, she was 20. She had AIDS.

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  • Blonde

  • Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.

    The brunette brings canteens of water.

    The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.

    The blonde somehow rips off the car door.

    The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"

    To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."

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  • Gay

  • Gwen, I am not gay. There is some stupid faker online! I swear on my life that I am not!

    Btw, if I was gay, then why am I chatting and dating a girl?

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  • Dark Humor

  • What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.

    What do you call ten lesbians in a room together? Fingerhut.

    What do you call two lesbians in a closet together? A liquor cabinet.

    What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and fifty congressmen? 100 people who don't do dick.

    Why don't women wear miniskirts in the winter? 'Cause they would get chapped lips.

    What do a cliff jumper and a gay man have in common? If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit.

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