Girl jokes
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
what came first, The apple or the girl? The apple, because the tree left her hanging :)
"Lemme clap your girl's booty cheeks, daddy papi."
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?
Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!
How to get a girl in three steps:
Step 1: grab a pillow.
Step 2: grab a blanket.
Step 3: keep dreaming.
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
I'm shocked about Donald Trump escaping the transgender accusations. Trump is more talkative than any of the popular girls I went to school with! Not to mention Trump's tweets...
Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"
Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."
"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"
What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.
There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.
Him: Hey girl, do you have pet insurance?
Her: Yes, why do you ask?
Him: Cuz I'm going to bang that pussy up!
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.
All school meeting introductions:
Grade School: “Welcome Girls and Boys!”
Middle School: “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”
High School: “Fingerers and fingerees.”
Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?
A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.