Girl

Girl jokes

Chick

What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?

She can't identify you.

Vodka

There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.

Rape

What do you say to a ugly girl who claims to have been raped?

“Are you sure you didn’t rape him?”

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  • Orphan

    Girl: Hey.

    Orphan: Hi.

    Girl: Wanna be friends?

    Orphan: Sure.

    Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.

    School

    All school meeting introductions:

    Grade School: “Welcome Girls and Boys!”

    Middle School: “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”

    High School: “Fingerers and fingerees.”

    Rock

    Why are girls and rocks so alike?

    If they're flat, they get skipped.

    Vibrator

    What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?

    When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.

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  • Difference

    What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.

    Pedophile

    Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?

    He took a girl's innocence.

    Bar

    What do a girl and a bar have in common?

    A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!

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  • Harry Potter

    Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?

    Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.

    Argument

    Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?

    A knife has a point.

    Bullying

    One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.

    The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.

    Blow job

    I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.

    ...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.

    I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"