Girl jokes
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵
How to get a girl in three steps:
Step 1: grab a pillow.
Step 2: grab a blanket.
Step 3: keep dreaming.
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?
Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!
Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"
Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."
"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"
What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.
There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.
What do you say to a ugly girl who claims to have been raped?
“Are you sure you didn’t rape him?”
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."
I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.
All school meeting introductions:
Grade School: “Welcome Girls and Boys!”
Middle School: “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”
High School: “Fingerers and fingerees.”
Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?
A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.
Why are girls and rocks so alike?
If they're flat, they get skipped.
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.