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Why does Stephen Hawking need some screens?
He needs to win those Fortnite tournaments and get to Champions League.
What do apples and orphans have in common?
The apple gets picked.
Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"
Roses are red.
I have free candy. Get in my van. I have free candy!
Cancer kids be like: "When I grow up... lol nevermind."
This joke never gets old. Just like the child.
Why does an orphan always get the newest iPhone?
Because so he does not have a home button.
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied?
'Cause they can’t stand up for themselves.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Kid: Mom, do trees poop?
Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.
My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"
What do you get when you mix a fly and a rabbit?
Bugs Bunny!
Why do orphans play GTA?
So they can get wanted.
Why do orphans want to get married so bad?
To have someone to call "daddy."
Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.
What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!