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Why did the chicken cross the road?

I don’t know.

To get to the idiot house.

Knock, knock. Who's there?

The chicken.

Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.

What did one orphan say to another?

"Robin, get in the Batmobile!"

What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?

You get salmonella.

This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?

Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!

Why do cantaloupes always get married in the church?

'Cause they can't elope.

Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?

I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk home and walk walk?

There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.

What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?

Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄

What ankle is getting cut off of school? The lights.

What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.

This is an inside joke for my friend Caiden...

"Hey, where’d you get that paint from?" "Ha! Paint!"

I asked the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They have no home to run to.

Get it?

Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.

Weed: *gets hit by his own power*

Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?

Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?

Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?

Because they just keep getting harder and harder!

Why did the kidnapper cross the road?

To get the kids at the playground.