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Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.
What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident?
An amputation.
Why is an orphan bad at tennis?
'Cause he couldn't get any love.
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
How to get free robux: buy robux to make a game to get more robux.
A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a "no". His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, "Why do you keep asking me to croak?" The granddaughter replies, "Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland."
Hi, my name is Crappy. I like tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and ya now GET LOST!
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbbells tables, but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up.
The manager then walked over to him and asked, "You're hogging the dumbbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked, "Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are too sharp."
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...
I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"
I heard that my crush got kicked in the balls and when I thought of it...
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"
Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.