My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."
Get Jokes
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"
And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."
How does a mathematician get tan?
sin/cos.
When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box, but they don't know that there is a Glock 34 inside.
Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.
How do get a nun pregnant? Fuck her!
What's the difference between an orphan and an orange?
One gets picked.
Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.
Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.
What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.
Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."
Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?
A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄
(Wait, forgot about the 3rd third thing.) I have said this countless times, but it doesn't seem to be getting through to you: quit hating on particular jokes. You don't like it? Nobody cares. Don't go into the morbid jokes category, you idiots, ffs!
What do you get when you cross the terms homeless and abandoned?
POORphan
You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?
Yo mama is so ugly her hairline is receding just to get away from her face.
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?
When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,
I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.
So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.
He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.
