Get jokes
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?... One always gets picked.
The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.
Why did the cheetah get sad?
'Cause it didn't have any balls to suck.
Why can't an orphan get a tattoo at a young age?
They don't have parent permission.
What's a bonus of being an orphan?
You can't get homework.
Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What did the South tower get instead of pepperoni pizza?
It got a bunch of plane.
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.
Why did the Twin Towers get mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but got plane.
Why do orphans hate apples?
Because they get picked over.
Amber Heard morning schedule:
- Wake up - Eat breakfast - Take a shit - Get out of bed - Shower
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
What store does an orphan always get kicked out of?
Home Depot.