Get jokes
It's not that I don't get the laugh, but most of you need to read through what's already been posted, 'cause everybody's saying the same sh*t.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't get home.
How does Stephen Hawking compete in the hurdles?
He ducks when he gets to them.
Teacher: What does a cow say?
Susie: Moo.
Teacher: Good. Now what does a duck say?
Jimmy: The duck goes quack.
Teacher: Now what does a pig say?
Little Jonny: A pig says, "Get up against the wall, you black motherfucker!"
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
Do you know this kind of kid
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
What's between an orphan and an apple tray?
The apples get picked.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock. Who's there?
The chicken...
Short people tend to get angry easily...
'Cause they're so close to the ground, their anger doesn't dissipate easily...
If I stepped on a Twix, would you get mad?
If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
Why couldn't the GREAT WHITE beat the HAMMERHEAD?
because the GREAT WHITE kept getting BONKED on the HEAD by the HAMMERHEAD!
Funny things or weird things to say to someone.
Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.
It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!
Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.
Baby-Bugga-Boo.
Fuzzkins.
Lumpy.
Nilly.
Ninty Minty.
and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!
It's the 1940s.
The chink was counting his shillings. The chink was bitching. His wife got raped in Nanking. The chink counts his shillings.
The chink gets sook chinged!
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?
Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.
Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses
Dear Gwen, you are not a faker, nor liar, nor loser!
And the people that are bothering you are just dumb, stupid, bored, and need to get a fricking life instead! Don't hurt yourself because of these comments, to be honest, you're really nice, kind, and mannered! There are more kind people than mean people, and I am one of them! Just live your life and ignore Liv and the unknown guy, which is named Greg! No need for all this drama!
Best, Tenya Bailey.