Get jokes

Are you a train because I want to get railed by you? ;)

What do clothes and emo kids have in common?

They both get hung.

When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.

Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?

Because they never get picked.

What did the evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs! Get it guys? "Devil-ed" eggs! 😆

If you drop something, make your short friend get it.

What’s the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.

Why can't an orphan get a vaccine?

They need parental permission.

So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.

3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?

Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!

So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.

The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"

The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"

Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?

Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.

If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?

Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!

Why couldn't the GREAT WHITE beat the HAMMERHEAD?

because the GREAT WHITE kept getting BONKED on the HEAD by the HAMMERHEAD!

What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?

Dollar a pop!

Get it?

What happens when skeletons score points in a game?

They get a bone-us.

When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.

So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.

Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.

Why do orphans hate cricket?

Because they can't get a "homerun."