"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
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You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the knucklehead's house...
Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack.
People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.
Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house!
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
The idiot chicken who just crossed the road!!!
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
Yo mama so fat it took Nationwide three years to get on her good side.
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback!
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk home from school today?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To get to the gay kid's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.
I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
What kind of shirts does Sally's parents get her?
Long sleeves.
What did the zoo say to the snow ❄️? Get lost!
Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
Why do golfers bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.
