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What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
Why do people hate math? They always get hungry while learning about the pie chart.
Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?
Because she always gets a Royal flush!
Everybody does this
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
I couldn’t figure out why the football kept getting bigger... then it hit me!
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.
When you get injured 😢
When you get injured in America 😭😭😭😭💵💵💵💵💵🏩🏩🏩
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast! Get it? Lol.
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?
"Get to the ground, beef!"
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball?
One gets picked for games.
What do you call it when a cow gets disciplined by her parents?
Grounded beef.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: I don't know why.
Man: Because they have a family plan.
Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.
How do bees get to school?
They go on a school buzz.