Get jokes
Roses are red, chocolate is brown,
I expect nothing and still get let down!
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
I would tell you my jokes about pogs, but they would eventually get too boar-ing.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
Memes
What do crows get after they buy a phone?
A cawing card.
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
Whatβs the only plus for someone who burns to death?
They get a discount at the crematorium.
Police officers hope youβre a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
Yo mama so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldnβt.
Why couldn't the annoying dog get on Papyrus's nerves?
HE'S A SKELETON. HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, When life gets tough, I'll stand by you.
Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.
To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."
Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"