Get jokes

I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.

When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"

I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."

What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower? One of them gets picked.

So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.

Kile: Hey, asshole! I bet you listen to trash 50 Cent! How about you get to quarters, listen to him! My favorite rapper is the best of all! How about you go eat a cracker, you parrot nose, fuck!

Remy: I'm... y-y... YOUR DUMBER THAN ANT! I BET YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER IS A CANDY RAPPER!!

My life.

Tell me when you get it.

What word starts with M and ends in RAGE? Miscarriage.

That joke never gets old... but neither does the baby...;)

What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.

What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?

A Brick can get laid.

I go in to get a prostate exam. I'm nervous, but the doctor says it's all natural and needs to be done.

So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.

That's when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?

A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.

What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?

Drool.

Why did I buy the orphan an iPhone 12? Because he couldn't get home.

What does a kid at Epstein Island and MAGA supporters have in common?

They both can't get Trump's dick out of their mouth.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.

I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.

It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.

Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)

What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?

Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.