Get jokes
I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone dies.
When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.
My sister.
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A money manager who counts bars.
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
How did you get into the tampon 100?
Pull some strings!
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)