Get jokes
The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.
How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?
Turn it upside down.
me now & go look at one of my first posts on here
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
When does an emo get jealous at a phone?
When it dies.
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast! Get it? Lol.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the playground?
What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?
"Get to the ground, beef!"
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: I don't know why.
Man: Because they have a family plan.
Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.
They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?
I am in trouble.
Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
How do you get an emo kid out of a tree? Cut the rope.
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
I couldn’t figure out why the football kept getting bigger... then it hit me!
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.