Get jokes
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
Memes
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
How do bees get to school? On a school buzz.
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
Q: What did the person who invented the door knocker get?
A: A no-bell prize.
Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They never get home runs.
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown?
Cheater, cheater, woman beater!
Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."