Get jokes
Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.
Why did the depressed person cross the road?
To get run over.
Your forehead is so big it gets home before you do.
What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?
Two Aussie.
So I was doing a puzzle, and I was getting triggered with it. My friend said, "It's puzzling why you're so triggered."
What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?
A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.
What do you get when you put a clown, a peodophile, a gay wet person?
Answer: YOUR DAD
If you see a woman get raped, just walk away. Don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all.
Short people tend to get angry easily...
'Cause they're so close to the ground, their anger doesn't dissipate easily...
Why do people hate math? They always get hungry while learning about the pie chart.
Funny things or weird things to say to someone.
Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.
It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!
Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.
Baby-Bugga-Boo.
Fuzzkins.
Lumpy.
Nilly.
Ninty Minty.
and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!
A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.
Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.
That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.
What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?
They both try to get there before the hair does.
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
I conducted a survey. I asked 100 women what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said, "How the fuck did you get in here?" 😂😂😂
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To get to the real estate agent.
"We got a number one victory royale, yeah Fortnite we boutta get down! Get down! Ten kills on the board right now, just wiped out tomato town! My friend's gone down, I revived him now we're heading southbound! Now we're in the pleasant park street, look at the map, go to the marked sheet!"
Gwen: Prince, they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?
Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!??
Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now. I'm logging off this site and going to watch some TV. I'll be back in 1 hour, but we are done...DONE...DONE.
Random words in my keyboard:
The most annoying part of this game has always been that the players don’t know how much time it takes to get to the table before you start playing them.
Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?