Get jokes

So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"

Why do orphans always get an iPhone X?

Because it doesn’t have a home button.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

Answer: Elephino.

Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.

It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.

Get your mind together!

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

Why did the duck get arrested?

He tried to quack a safe.

Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.

What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?

The apple actually gets picked.

What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Why do orphans never get a car?

Because their parents need to buy them one.

Guys, stop making funny jokes of orphans. What, their parents are gonna get mad? Oh wait, continue.

Why do orphans love tennis?

Because it is the only place they can get love.

Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?

They get to walk themselves down the aisle.

I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.

I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.

Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.

Why did the emo person cross the road?

TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE Haha.

What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?

Panera sped.

When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.