Get jokes
Why don’t women wear mini skirts in the winter?
Because they’ll get chapped lips.
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.
Monke
Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?
So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.
What color flowers do mama cats like to get?
Purrrrrrrple flowers.
Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They never get home runs.
How do bees get to school? On a school buzz.
Kid: I want to be Batman.
Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
How do you get a million Pikachus in a bus?
You shove them on!
What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!
Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.