Get jokes

Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?

He got caught playing with his Privates!

Why did the dumb blonde pee inside the condom?

Because the doctor told the dumb blonde that the dumb blonde was going to get a urine test!

When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.

Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...

What does a blind man and your dick have in common?

They both can’t get up without a dog.

What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

I was wondering why the tennis ball was getting bigger 🤔

Then it hit me 🤧😂

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

Lady: "No, officer."

Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

Lady: "Just water, officer."

Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"

Why can an orphan never get picked up?

Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL

Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!

I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

Dark humor is like water; not everyone gets it.

What is the difference between apples and orphans?

The apples get picked.

I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.

What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.

Q: What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?

A: Apples get picked! 😱

How is sex like air?

It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?

They get to walk themselves down the aisle.