Get jokes
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.
What do you get when you mix a 737 and 767?
A 797.
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
Parents are like food—not all kids get them.
Memes
I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.
Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
Kid: I want to be Batman.
Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.