Get jokes
I wondered why the baseball was getting closer...
Then it hit me!
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
Money means nothing to me. Ask me for it, you will get nothing.
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
Work
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
Guys, we should stop telling orphan jokes. Their parents will get mad. Oh...
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can never get a home run.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?
Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
Why are we still fighting in darkness?
"Mission failed, soldier, we will get 'em next time."
What do you say to a crippled man getting bullied?
"Why not you stand up for yourself?"
Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Why did the duck get arrested?
He tried to quack a safe.
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.