Get jokes
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.
What do you get when you mix a 737 and 767?
A 797.
What do you say to a crippled man getting bullied?
"Why not you stand up for yourself?"
Why are we still fighting in darkness?
"Mission failed, soldier, we will get 'em next time."
Why did the duck get arrested?
He tried to quack a safe.
Memes
Why do orphans always get an iPhone X?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Answer: Elephino.
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.
Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
Kid: I want to be Batman.
Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.
How do bees get to school? On a school buzz.
Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They never get home runs.
Q: What did the person who invented the door knocker get?
A: A no-bell prize.