Get jokes
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?
They get to walk themselves down the aisle.
How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
Work
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
Q: What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
A: Apples get picked! 😱
Dark humor is like water; not everyone gets it.
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.
Guys, stop making funny jokes of orphans. What, their parents are gonna get mad? Oh wait, continue.
What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.
Why did the emo person cross the road?
TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE Haha.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?
The apple actually gets picked.
What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?
Panera sped.
Money means nothing to me. Ask me for it, you will get nothing.
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!