Get jokes
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
I was wondering why the tennis ball was getting bigger 🤔
Then it hit me 🤧😂
I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
Why do orphans love tennis?
Because it is the only place they can get love.
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
What do you get when you mix a 737 and 767?
A 797.
Parents are like food—not all kids get them.
Why do orphans always get an iPhone X?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Answer: Elephino.
What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.
Why did the dumb blonde pee inside the condom?
Because the doctor told the dumb blonde that the dumb blonde was going to get a urine test!