Get jokes

No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.

Explain Bear is always there for you.

How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.

Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?

Teacher: No, of course not.

Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?

Why did Miss Stephen get divorced? She didn't float, too.

Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.

I wonder why the baseball was getting larger and larger, then it hit me.

Girls: Boys are like games, they're meant to get played.

Boys: Girls are like stones, the flat ones get skipped.

Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.

A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.

Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."

When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:

Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?

Yo momma's so fat, when she gets an abortion, she can feed the entire country of Africa leftovers.

Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?

A: A cold shoulder.

What's common in vampires and American kids?

They both don't get old.

What’s one thing that an orphan can never get in poker?

A full house.

Why do orphans like to play tennis?

Because that’s the only love they will get.

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they can't get a home run.

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?

Both get hard when we play with them.

What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?

They always getting hit.