Get jokes

I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.

What did the cholo say when the house fell on him?

"Get off me, homes!"

What do you get when you cross the terms homeless and abandoned?

POORphan

Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?

A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"

If Stephen Hawking gets a heart attack, where do you go, the hospital or Curry's PC World?

Yo mama is so ugly her hairline is receding just to get away from her face.

How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.

What mountain do people like to race on?

Mount Rushmore.

Get it?

9/11 called for help. What did that get? Nothing.

What’s the difference between a kid with cancer and a dark humor joke?

They never get old.

What’s the difference between a brick and redheads? Bricks get laid.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.

People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!

Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

So he could get into high school.

When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.

A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"

He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.

The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."

So, I was watching YouTube, and then my friend says, "Those videos never get old." I replied, "Just like a Make-A-Wish kid." After I said that, he shot me in the head and said, "And now neither do you." Now I’m in Heaven, and God says to me, "Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies," and I said, "Are there summer women?" Now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero after he killed Hitler.

One day, Little Johnny walks in on his dad getting dressed and asked, "What is that, Daddy?" Dad said, "Oh, that's my snake." The next day, Little Johnny walks in on his mom getting dressed and asks, "What is that?" Mom says, "That's my bushes." The next day, Little Johnny can't sleep, so he goes into his parents' room and asks Dad, "Why is your snake going into Mom's bushes?"

Can we please stop the fricking drama! I see people bullying other people, too. Gwen is not the only one. For God's sake, just do jokes! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don't even know each other, but we're still doing this stupid nonsense! Just make jokes, people! That is why it's called "Worst Jokes Ever," not "Bully People Ever." So shut up and get a life, dum-dums! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don't even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fricking world!!!!

"Addison, shut up. You're only 8 years old. What do you know?"

I might be 8, but at least I got some sense, and plus, I'm way smarter than you guys anyway. I'm in alert. You know, like a very, very, very intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying "u," I say the true "you," instead of "pls," it's "please." Sorry if I did mean it... which I don't!

What’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer, and a poor kid’s parents getting ran over by military tractors?

When grandma got ran over by a reindeer, the kids actually gave a sh*t.