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Bf

If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.

Package

Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!

Orphan

Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? Because they don’t get homesick.

Period

Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?

Because this teen just started her period!

Memes

Chocolate

Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.

Chat

Gwen, let's chat at night for about 1 hour! I want to get to know each other better!

P.S., it's Jake.

Tour Guide

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.

Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

Giraffe

What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?

Getting neck!

Penalty

I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.

Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!

Department

The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.

Grade

When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.

When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.

Homo

How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?

Turn it upside down.

Dog

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.

She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

Injury

When you get injured 😢

When you get injured in America 😭😭😭😭💵💵💵💵💵🏩🏩🏩

Beef

What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?

"Get to the ground, beef!"