Why did the dumb blonde pee inside the condom?
Because the doctor told the dumb blonde that the dumb blonde was going to get a urine test!
Get Jokes
So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!
What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Answer: Elephino.
Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Why are we still fighting in darkness?
"Mission failed, soldier, we will get 'em next time."
Why did the duck get arrested?
He tried to quack a safe.
Why do orphans always get an iPhone X?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
What do you say to a crippled man getting bullied?
"Why not you stand up for yourself?"
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
