Garden jokes
Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's dad said, "That's Mr. Wiggles." Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy's mom said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's mom said, "That's my garden." Timmy's mom said, "Don't look up." Timmy looked up. Timmy said, "What are those?" Timmy's mom said, "Those are her headlights." Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said, "Don't look under the covers." Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled, "MOMMY, MOMMY, MR. WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!"
Site nearly as dead as my trim.
Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,
HOLY SHIT, MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!
Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.
The potholes so big in Oklahoma Can make a whole garden.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
Why did the rapper take up gardening?
Because they wanted to GROW their FLOW.
SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”
MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again.
What runs around a yard without actually moving? A fence.
So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
Mom found a mirror in the garden and said, "I'll show you a real picture!"
Did you hear about the tomato and the lettuce race?
Well, the lettuce was ahead, and the tomato was trying to ketchup!
What did the bee say to the flower?
"Hey bud! When do you open?"
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some fresh beets!