Garden jokes
So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”
What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.
Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?
Kid: A garden?
Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?
Site nearly as dead as my trim.
Why did the carrots laugh?
They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.
Memes
Why did the rapper start gardening?
He wanted to get more ROOTS in his rhymes.
Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Because it looks like a g-nome.
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to GROW his fan base.
Someone is adding dirt to my garden!
The plot thickens!
Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”
My plants in my garden are like the Twin Towers; neither of them fell, just the flowers.
Why did the rapper take up gardening?
Because they wanted to GROW their FLOW.
I’ve seen more life in a trampled garden gnome than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.
What do you call a rapper who's also a GARDENER?
Snoop Soddy Sod.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to garden?
Lil Plant
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some fresh beets!
Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!
My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!