Funeral jokes

I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.

Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?

How do you know someone is going to die?

He can't stop coughing. (coffin)

My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.

When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.

And into a children's birthday party.

I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.

Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.

I’m only curious how they closed his casket.

Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?

Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”

What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?

The pose!

My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"

When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"

Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."

What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?

Fall Guys.

What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?

"Damn, that's really stiff!"

Why do cemeteries have fences?

Because people are dying to be there.

Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.

What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?

House of Pain—"Jump Around."

I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.

My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.

The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.

Putting WiFi in the morgue to enable live streaming.