Funeral jokes
My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
I put the fun in funeral.
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.
My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?
#RIPBOZO
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?
Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”