Funeral jokes
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
Memes
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?
Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death?
They get a discount at the crematorium.
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
Why do cemeteries have fences?
Because people are dying to be there.
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
Putting WiFi in the morgue to enable live streaming.
The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.