My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
why do cemeterys have fences bc people are dying to be there
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.
My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
#RIPBOZO
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?
I put the fun in funeral.
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.
Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."
Putting WiFi in the morgue to enable live streaming.
