Funeral jokes
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.
(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
#RIPBOZO
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
Putting WiFi in the morgue to enable live streaming.
Your mom gay.
Grandma told me that when she passed away she wants to be a tree, and so she could live forever.
But I'm not gonna lie, it was a nice toasty fire...
Why should you put an orphanage by a cemetery?
So they can always see their parents.
I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
Where did Sally go after the gunshot?
6 feet under.
*That is how deep they put the coffin...*
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.