Why should you put an orphanage by a cemetery?
So they can always see their parents.
Where did Sally go after the gunshot ? 6 feet under
*that is how deep they put the coffin...*
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon..
And into a children's birthday party.
Why don’t coffins have wifi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
Theres something special about cemeteries People are dying to get inside
Did you know that if you die you can still be apart of family game night!! all you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass and the games that uses hour glasses well you will be apart of family game night.
Why did the man miss the funeral? He wasn’t a mourning person.
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn't close the casket.
Your hair line goes back when my gran died and she hurried 6 foot undee
do you know steven is dead he doesent have a stone do you know how to find him a metal detector
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sisters knickers the other day, it wouldn’t of been so bad but she’s was wearing them at the time, it made the rest of the funeral so awkward
imma eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before i die just to make the cremation a lil more interesting
I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma
Where would you take Stephen hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC world
What's white as snow within 15-25 mins after death and then black and blue and red all over? a corpse of course!
Haha Dead
He’s not dead just his storage unit
The undertakers famous saying is "Rest In Peace" to all of his opponents but really they don't rest in peace the only peace they get is the from God
A French, a German and an Italian make a race to who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, which after a quarter of an hour comes out. Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally the Italian enters who comes out after five hours. The French: "But how did you do it?" The Italian: "I killed one." The German: "So what?" The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"
