Funeral jokes
Why do cemeteries have fences?
Because people are dying to be there.
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.
I put the fun in funeral.
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
Putting WiFi in the morgue to enable live streaming.
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?
Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death?
They get a discount at the crematorium.
Your mom gay.
Why should you put an orphanage by a cemetery?
So they can always see their parents.
I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"
Grandma told me that when she passed away she wants to be a tree, and so she could live forever.
But I'm not gonna lie, it was a nice toasty fire...
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
Where did Sally go after the gunshot?
6 feet under.
*That is how deep they put the coffin...*
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.