Funeral jokes
Putting WiFi in the morgue to enable live streaming.
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?
Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death?
They get a discount at the crematorium.
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
Memes
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
Why do cemeteries have fences?
Because people are dying to be there.
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
Your mom gay.
Why should you put an orphanage by a cemetery?
So they can always see their parents.
I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"
Grandma told me that when she passed away she wants to be a tree, and so she could live forever.
But I'm not gonna lie, it was a nice toasty fire...
Where did Sally go after the gunshot?
6 feet under.
*That is how deep they put the coffin...*
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.