Funeral

Funeral Jokes

Skeleton

Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?

He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.

Oh wait.

You fool!

Cremation

Setting: Funeral Home

Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.

Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.

Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?

Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.

Customer: Okay?

Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.

By: MiniMemorials.com

Sadness

You were sad because your grandmother died.

The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.

Mum

You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."

Emo

Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?

She thought her grandma was trying to flex.

Clown

My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.

So all his friends came in one car.

Baby

When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?

Alphaville - "Forever Young."

Woman

You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.

Grandma

My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.

Coffin

How do you know someone is going to die?

He can't stop coughing. (coffin)