Funeral jokes
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
Like this if you have ever had a family member die.
exactly
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin!
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"What? But I’m not dead yet!"
"And we’re not there yet."
When a military person dies, we shoot all night. When a drunkard dies, we drink all night. When a Christian dies, we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies? What should we do? Please tell me.
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
also acceptable when I saw your face
The type of society we live in
Me seeing a little girl crying
Community talk
Post-Funeral Discussion
WJE FUNERAL FOR OUR DEARLY DEPARTED @DAP ME UP
HE WILL BE MISSED.
SERVICE STARTS AT 1PM CENTRAL TIME (A LITTLE LESS THAN 10 MINUTES)
Scripts.com Bee Movie By Jerry Seinfeld
NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yell… Read more