During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said, "Berry Christmas!"
Fruit Jokes
What does a grape do if a rhino is about to squash it?
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.
My friend thinks he is funny.
He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I did not say banana? Ha ha!
If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."
Din mor ligner en banan. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.
I will tell you a story. There was a fruit named Pear who was named Dyck. He one day met his friend Carrot, who was later killed after being stuck into some girl's vagina.
Pear then became very sadistic and no one loved him, and he became mentally fruit-pressed. One day he met a Banana named Harvey Weinstein, and they got married and had children who were all named Minion. Eventually, the rest of his family died, and Pear was left slowly rotting away. His last words were, "I have finally 'peared' the consequences of all my actions."
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?
Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.
The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"
"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."
One day I was eating a banana, and one my friend was eating in the balcony, so I threw my banana on his balcony. He stepped on it, so he got slipped, and one yogi was passing by me, so my friend's banana fell on his head, and he got a very nice shining half-eaten banana choti on his golden smooth head.
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
Timmy has 5 apples.
His train is 7 minutes early.
Calculate the mass of the sun.
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
Last night I slipped on a banana.
My friend said it was a-peeling!
