Fruit jokes
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
What is yellow and smells like bananas?
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Banana na na.
The chicken is actually a fruit because it is grown on a pole-tree.
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
I asked my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her, "How did you do that?" but there was no response.
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said, "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion." The first guy came back with 10 apples, and by the second one, he started to grunt, so he was killed and eaten.
The second one came back with cherries, and when he went to put the 10th one in, he started to laugh, so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven, and the first guy said, "Dude, you were so close. What happened?" The second one said, "I would have made it, but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!" 😝😝🤣🤣
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is just a watermelon.
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
What did the sunglasses say to the banana?
Nothing, sunglasses can’t talk.
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
Did you hear about the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well, the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
Yo' mama is so ugly, she makes onions cry.
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐
Why can't melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.