Fruit jokes
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Why did the orange lose the race?
Because it ran out of juice!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
What kind of fruit can fix your sink?
A plum-ber.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite fruit?
Boisenberry.
Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.
I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.
My cousin is a surgeon.
Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.
Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing with the bent one.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:
Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?
Because he wanted grapes.
I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extremely handicapped.
I'm calling it "Fruits and Vegetables".
Roses are red, oranges are orange.
Get a life, quit watching porn.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
What do you call a banana that can dance?
CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.