Fruit Jokes

Three guys landed on a cannibal island. The cannibal chef told them if they wanted to live, they had to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to him, and he would tell them what to do.

So the first guy brings 10 apples, and the chef said if he could shove all 10 of those in his ass without making a sound, he could live. He was three apples in and made a sound, and they ate him. The second guy brought grapes; nine grapes in, and he burst out laughing. The cannibals ate him. Then the first guy said, "Why'd you laugh? You were almost there!" The other guy who had the grapes said, "I couldn't help it, I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples."

What is the cherry's favorite cartoon?

"Tom and Jerry!"

What do you call a fruit's penis?

A percock.

What's a current's favorite juice?

Black "current"!

What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?

Fruit punch.

Why did Bob go to the store? To bob for apples.

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

What did the first guy say to the second?

Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?

What do you call a homosexual in a coma?

A fruit and a vegetable!

Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.

Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?

Please take this down, it's not funny at all!

It's a joke, not a dick, so don't take it so hard!

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

The Annoying Orange called Donald Trump a copycat.

I told my doctor I ate a bunch of bananas. It wasn’t a very a-peeling experience.

What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.

If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.

Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!

*bowl of dark grapes*

Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men.

Friend 2: Black? Good one.

Friend 1: 21 at a time.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.

A hot dog and a banana had a race. Who won?

The wiener.