Friendship jokes

Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?

My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."

So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.

What did one orphan say to another orphan?

"Get in the batmobile, Robin!"

This emo kid wanted to join a group of emos, but he didn't make the cut.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill’s candy, but Jack had a shock with a mouth full of cock cause Jill’s real name was Randy.

With a tight cheeked fanny and shlong expandy, Jack’s face turned uncanny. Off he ranny to tell granny his best friend was a tranny.

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.

Too bad only one was standing. :)

Why aren't emos and trees friends? Because the tree leaves them hanging.

A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"

Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.

I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.

My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"

I said: "Why?"

My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"

I said: "KNEW IT!"

What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.

Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?

Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"

Friend #2: "Apples"

Me: "I can hang myself in them."

Friend, you're bold and fat.

Me: Bro, go to the bathroom and look at the mirror. You will probably break it.

"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.