Friendship jokes
If you have a friend that will not leave you alone about something, just simply tell them: "If you watch something, have you ever thought that you're in a movie when you watch a movie?"
Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you cannot break the ice.
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”
Thanks Ethan for all you've done. We've both made mistakes when all is said and done, but just thanks for being a good friend. This is officially my last post on here, Ethan-Real 1.
What does a ginger do when they want to high five a friend? They clap.
Why do girls only stay in odd groups of friends?
Because they literally can't even.
LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.
Shrek- Should I pull the trap?
*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*
LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB
Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
My friend said she wanted to fly, so I pushed her off a building.
What's up, bitches? Miss me?
Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.
Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!
Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.