I was playing football with my friends and i got tackled and got a penalty suddenly the ground started shaking and penaldo emerged from the mud and he till the penalty but since it wasn’t andorra he missed. Shame on you penaldo!
I: Get a boomerang type: Why? Me: Because for frisbee you need friends.
Friend #1: "Whats your favourite thing about trees?" Friend #2: "Apples" Me: "I can hang myself in them."
My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.
Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea
Gwen if ur reading this the link I sent is for u and ur bf to chat and stuff no one shall bother u! Pinky pinky! Btw do U know how I am cause if do then I am related to kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry just chat with ur boy friend
My Japanese friend told me a Peral Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.
Foxy the fox the was a careless fox she didn't care about her friend Froggy Froggy was a careful frog One day froggy dicided to teach the fox a lesson Foxy was in her bed sleeping When froggy made her room an entire mess She got up and then the mother berated her up for not cleaning her room From now she is a careful fox
my friend was in a wheel chair so i rolled him in fire now i call him hot wheels
I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why could she not get back up? Because she had no friends. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Susie.......
One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided try to find the treasure. After several hours they found the treasure, it was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friend wear the suit and hugs the other friend. They were both red.
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
"I asked my friend what his he?" He answered "I'm sans'sational"
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.
On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.
“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
What did the salad say to pineapple
Lettuce be friends
Why should you be friends with emo's? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off and when it expires they get rid of themselvs.
Everyone in my class: I can't wait until have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job My friends: What's your dream job? Me: I'm going to die young :))