Friend jokes

"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."

Me:.....

What do you call a kid named Caitlyn?

My best friend.

A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"

I was playing Warzone last night, and I shot my teammate that said they were emo. When I shot him, another player did, and it said "assist kill."

My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.

Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.

Hey guys, how was your day?

If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.

I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.

My friends:

Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.

Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.

Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.

Me: You guys are getting sleep...

"Discuss the synopsis of this poem: My Friend Billy Has A Ten-Foot Willy."

My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.

I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.

My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.

My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.

Me and my friend (rope) like hanging out.

A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"

An African man visits his friend in the US.

“I just flew in yesterday,” the African man says. “And boy are my arms tired!”

“You know, that’s kind of an old joke here in America,” replied his friend.

“Joke?” the African man said. “I’ve been holding my hands in the air yelling ‘don’t shoot’ ever since I got to this damn country!”

My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.

*bowl of dark grapes*

Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men.

Friend 2: Black? Good one.

Friend 1: 21 at a time.

A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.

She told her, "Hey, long time no see."

I asked my friend what their serial number was... He said "Cheerios."

Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.