Friend jokes

"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."

Me:.....

My friends:

Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.

Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.

Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.

Me: You guys are getting sleep...

Hey guys, how was your day?

If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.

I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.

"Discuss the synopsis of this poem: My Friend Billy Has A Ten-Foot Willy."

My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.

I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.

Me and my friend (rope) like hanging out.

People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!

People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.

She can't see the obvious.

Friend: Hey, wanna race home?

Orphan: What home?

Me to friend: I'm homeschooled.

Friend: If I was homeschooled, I'd kms.

Me: Oh, I already tried that.

Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.

A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"

An African man visits his friend in the US.

“I just flew in yesterday,” the African man says. “And boy are my arms tired!”

“You know, that’s kind of an old joke here in America,” replied his friend.

“Joke?” the African man said. “I’ve been holding my hands in the air yelling ‘don’t shoot’ ever since I got to this damn country!”

My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.

*bowl of dark grapes*

Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men.

Friend 2: Black? Good one.

Friend 1: 21 at a time.

A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.

She told her, "Hey, long time no see."

I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.

Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.

Me: U know the show called Imagine Dragons?

Friends: No, what is it?

Me: Imagine dragon this nuts across yo mouth.

What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?

Lego, so he can build a home.