Scrub jokes
"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."
"What's been going on, John?" I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!
My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.
What do you call a Barbie doll that鈥檚 wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 馃樂
How do you clean ash off a stove with chemicals?
One Tuesday afternoon, Little Jonny decides he wants extra homework, so he went to his teacher and said, "Hello, can I have extra homework this week?"
The teacher replied with, "Sure, be at my house Friday afternoon to cut my lawn, polish the counters, scrub the baseboards, scrub and paint the walls!"
And Johnny replied with, "That's not what I meant, but at least I'll get paid!"
The teacher said, "How about $200 each job?"
Johnny replied with, "OK."
Friday afternoon at her house, after Johnny does all the jobs, he asked for his payment and the teacher laughed and said, "You do know that Tuesday was April Fools' Day, right?"
How does a rapper clean his house?
With a LIL' SCRUB.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.
Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.
Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.
If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.