Scrub jokes
"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."
"What's been going on, John?" I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!
My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.
What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 😷
How do you clean ash off a stove with chemicals?
One Tuesday afternoon, Little Jonny decides he wants extra homework, so he went to his teacher and said, "Hello, can I have extra homework this week?"
The teacher replied with, "Sure, be at my house Friday afternoon to cut my lawn, polish the counters, scrub the baseboards, scrub and paint the walls!"
And Johnny replied with, "That's not what I meant, but at least I'll get paid!"
The teacher said, "How about $200 each job?"
Johnny replied with, "OK."
Friday afternoon at her house, after Johnny does all the jobs, he asked for his payment and the teacher laughed and said, "You do know that Tuesday was April Fools' Day, right?"
How does a rapper clean his house?
With a LIL' SCRUB.
Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.
So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.
Dirty bastards.
Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?
Alfred: Why?
Me: because I'm worthless... =)
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.