Friend jokes

🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"

"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."

My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.

I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.

"Discuss the synopsis of this poem: My Friend Billy Has A Ten-Foot Willy."

My friends:

Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.

Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.

Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.

Me: You guys are getting sleep...

"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."

Me:.....

I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."

I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.

The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."

Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.

Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"

My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.

My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.

Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"

Friend: "Your blood pressure!"

My Chinese friend died recently, So Yung.

My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.

Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.

His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”

Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”

Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?

When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”

Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?

Because you cannot break the ice.

A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"