Friend jokes

Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.

His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”

Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”

I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.

Why don't orphans have any friends?

Because they don't have homies.

I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.

🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"

"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."

My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.

People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!

Friend: Hey, wanna race home?

Orphan: What home?

Me and my friend (rope) like hanging out.

My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.

My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?

Me: No.

Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.

Me: Bro, I don't think the Twin Towers will ever order pizza again.

Friend: Why?

Me: Because when they ordered pepperoni, all they got was plane.

What do you call a friend in space?

Space friend.

Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.

I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.

My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.

Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"

I said: "Why?"

My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"

I said: "KNEW IT!"

A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"