Friend jokes

People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!

People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.

She can't see the obvious.

Friend: Hey, wanna race home?

Orphan: What home?

A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?

(Getting brutally murdered.)

I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.

Why don't orphans have any friends?

Because they don't have homies.

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

Hey guys, how was your day?

If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.

I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.

My friends:

Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.

Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.

Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.

Me: You guys are getting sleep...

"Discuss the synopsis of this poem: My Friend Billy Has A Ten-Foot Willy."

My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.

I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.

My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's hairline, even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey... if they were white.

My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.

My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.

My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.

Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.

Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?

When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”

Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"

Friend: "Your blood pressure!"

Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?

Because you cannot break the ice.

The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."