Friend jokes

Why don't orphans have any friends?

Because they don't have homies.

I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.

I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.

My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?

Me: No.

Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.

Me: Bro, I don't think the Twin Towers will ever order pizza again.

Friend: Why?

Me: Because when they ordered pepperoni, all they got was plane.

Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.

My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.

What do you call a friend in space?

Space friend.

🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"

"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."

Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.

A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"

I said: "Why?"

My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"

I said: "KNEW IT!"

A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"

Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.

My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.

What do you call a kid named Caitlyn?

My best friend.

I was playing Warzone last night, and I shot my teammate that said they were emo. When I shot him, another player did, and it said "assist kill."

Why was the kinetic sand always happy?

Because it was kinetic with its friends!

I have a little John.