Salmon jokes
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
If there is a hair, the meat is ruined.
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
What is a fish’s 🐟 favorite game?
Salmon Says!
If my boobies are fish, then am I salmon boobies? Please give generously.
What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?
You get salmonella.
What do you call a fish that can use a katana?
A salmon-rai.
What say the child to the man? Shalom.
Man come later give the child: "Here, what you asked for!"
Child: "No, sir! I say Shabbat Shalom. I not ask for salmon!"
Man: "It may be the coin in me ear, hard to hear."
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
Spongebob and Jacko have one thing in common.
They both routinely place meat in small buns.
I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.
