Friend jokes

My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.

A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.

This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"

"Of course," she says.

The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"

The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"

So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.

So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...

My friends were the pilots on 9/11, they told me, "Bro, chill, it's just a prank!"

Kid: Dad, where are you going?

Dad: To get milk.

TEN YEARS LATER

Kid's friend: Where's your dad?

Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.

My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."

Me:.....

I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.

My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?

Me: No.

Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.

My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.

Me: Bro, I don't think the Twin Towers will ever order pizza again.

Friend: Why?

Me: Because when they ordered pepperoni, all they got was plane.

What do you call a friend in space?

Space friend.

Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.

I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.

🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"

"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."

A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?

(Getting brutally murdered.)

Why don't orphans have any friends?

Because they don't have homies.

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.