A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself and his friend says "Find jesus instead he'll help you!" and than the man says "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist".
“Dude come here and see a rabbit!”
“Ok!”
“Are u ok man?”
“Yeah I’m fine”
“Dude pull your pants back up!
pov: you walk up to your short friend and say how is the weather down there
Me: you know what's the favourite slogan that Hindus likes the most? My friend: what? Me: kati supari kata paan katiyo ko bhejo pakistan.
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good but he says that he doesn't taste anything
what did the fish say when seeing his best mate?
I SEA him!
My friends daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
My friend looks like a homeless thanks for the jokes
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp of a roof
My friend:What are you doing Me:I ́m making holy water My friend:How? Me:I ́m boiling the hell out of it.
Friend: Why did you touch me? Me: That guy in the corner with no hair , glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail-mix. I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut
best friend *hold a sign up that says "what gender are you"* Me:uh male?.. best frend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"* Me: you silly goose *silence for like three sec* Me:still male though-
My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room." "Islam it is."
My friend said I was gay but then I realised he was talking to the mirror
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip? "Want me to pack your shit?"
Yesterday I asked my friend “ What is a fish without eyes” They replied “I don’t know” I said “ fsh “
Why did the skeleton want a friend? Because she was feeling bonely
I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.
*God creates dog* God: "You are man's best friend"
Dog: "That's pretty sexist"
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
