Found jokes

What's black and found on top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking during a house fire.

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.

A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.

Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.

My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.

I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.

History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."

Student: "I need that."

How do you think they found out cows produce milk?

Two kids having fun in the barn.

My boss found my permanent record at the orphanage, and he’s mad. I got fired...

I found your parent!

Your eyebrows and hairline are so far apart that when Dora the Explorer went and found your hairline and was trying to find your eyebrows, the map couldn't even tell her.

Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA

I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.

Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.

The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.

A cartoonist was found dead in his home.

The details are SKETCHY! :)

I just found out, these jokes are about dead people.

I once masturbated in the bathroom.

I was looking for something, for a little help.

Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.

I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!

Yo mama so fat, she found the barrier to outer space!

My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!