New Found Jokes - Page 5 - Worst Jokes Ever

What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?

Billy's jeans.

"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?

I've been raped!

Who says Rihanna isn't charitable?

I mean, she found Johnny Depp for her fashion show by scouting for people living in tents down in Skid Row.

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.

Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.

Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"

Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."

Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"

Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"

Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."

Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."

A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins. The doctor said but the lady was like,

"Ugh, why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl, not a boy, just a girl!"

The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma. The man who was in labor died. The two babies got a nanny, an evil one. The nanny killed the babies on their first birthday.

Your eyebrows and hairline are so far apart that when Dora the Explorer went and found your hairline and was trying to find your eyebrows, the map couldn't even tell her.

I found this game, it's like flappy bird: https://terrorist.group/

What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.

What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.

MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]

I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.

I just beat the Hollow Knight and found it takes 26 hours to beat it, but it took me 69 hours to beat it.

Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero?

He woke up and found out it was true.

Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!

"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"

I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.

The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"

The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"

The school shooter: "I don't know."

The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."

What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.

Found this girl in Hawaii.

Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."

Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA