Food jokes
Are you a hotdog stand? 'Cause you make my hotdog stand ;)
Din mor ligner en banan. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.
"Knuckle babies" don't eat.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
I was watching my boyfriend's dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When I looked down, he appeared to be dead.
My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do, so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waited for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said, "You know, your dog's been a little depressed lately..."
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because he wanted to make dough.
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
What do you call Panera bread when it’s on top of someone?
Panera head.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Broccoli.
Broccoli who?
Broccoli hasn’t got a surname!
Why were the Twin Towers made on 9/11? They ordered pepperoni pizza but got plane.
Hey, do you like nuts? Try our new product, deez nuts! *slam dunk* It's a bag filled with all of your favorite nuts! We called it deez nuts! *slam dunk* We got cashues peanuts wallnuts!
And it's called deez nuts! *slam dunk* Try out deez nuts *slam dunk* now! It's a bag, filled with your favorite nuts! Deez nuts! *slam dunk*
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? An extraction.
What do you call an appetite including apples? Appletite.
Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?
A. A loaded potato.
Jonny went to Disney and they had sour balls. He asked the cashier for some and he pulled down his pants.
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
What flour do you buy an orphan?
Self-raising flour.
Wiener.
Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?
Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.