Food jokes
What do dairy products praise? Cheeseus.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said it would be a piece of cake! 🎂😂
The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks, "So you don't miss fried chicken?"
Why are french fries rude?
"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?
They're both white and flavorless.
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.
Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?
Americans: I will cook the pizza.
Italians: I cooka de pizza!
How come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles?
COVID-19 is like pasta.
Asians invented it, Italians spread it.
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
If you are what you eat,
why is Jeffrey Dahmer white?
I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.
All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."
What is another word for a bagel? 🥯
Jewish doughnut ✡️ 🍩👏 👏 👍 👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 😋 🏆 🎖
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.