Food jokes
What is the best thing about being an orphan?
All bags of chips are family-sized!
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
What’s Elon Musk Jr.'s favorite food?
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Why can't orphans have cereal? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
That was a really crappy bun!
toast must burn
Why do fat people like food?
The more the merrier.
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
For some reason, my mom likes to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
A black n***a crashes a neighborhood barbecue, bragging about his 'hood credentials' while hogging all the ribs and collard greens. The host calls him out, 'Yo, pay up or get out. Ain't no freebies here.' He laughs it off, 'Man, I run this block!' But the host's burly brother, who's been grilling the whole time, snarls, 'Wrong, fool. Time to settle the score.' He pins him against the picnic table, wraps a chain leash around his neck from the dog run, edges him with a vibrating basting brush slathered in hot sauce, and then plows his ass deep and hard, grunting, 'Now you're the main course, spicier than the jerk chicken!'
I started crying when Dad began to cut onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
"Orphans get picked."
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io!
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Beef stroganoff.
Why do orphans eat their cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk! 😂🤣
What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.
But if you're vegan, you call him food.
If you're poor, you eat the skin.
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
I had a cake for my gender reveal party. I cut it, and the inside was yellow...