Food jokes
Best not leave hungry kids unattended!
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
Why are Asians so bad at baseball? ... Because they ate the bat!
What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?
Glockamole.
Why can't an Asian play baseball?
'Cause they always eat the bat!
Memes
My boy best friend needs to have this app rn
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
Orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.
Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?
It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What do you call a different spaghetti? An impasta!
PAPYRUS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DIFFERENT SPAGHETTI SANS?
SANS: What?
PAPYRUS: AN IMPASTA!
SANS: Good one.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One's actually picked.
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
What's an Asian's favorite food place?
Answer: Petco
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
What do bees like with sushi?
Wasabee.
What do Greek people never want to have on their food? Grease.