Food jokes
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.
Why do people say "cheese" when they are taking a photo?
Because they were using the computer and thought about it.
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple has a family tree.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What are chocolate's preferred gender pronouns?
Her-she.
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
How do u make a sausage roll?
Push it down the hill.🍆
Why should you never talk to pie at a party? Because it goes on forever.
Every Dorito bag for orphans is family sized.
Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.
Where do astronauts 👩🚀 keep their sandwiches 🥪?
In their launch box! 🚀📦😂
What's a priest's favorite fruit?
Cantaloupe.
What did Jim say to Jeff?
"I killed your ham."
Student asks teacher, "If I throw an apple and noodles, which one will fall first?"
Teacher replied, "I don't know."
Then student replied, "Noodles will fall first because noodles are fast foods!"
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.