Food jokes
What do you call a cow without legs? Ground beef.
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
What's wrong with airline food...! They're not black, and they're not people. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahXD!!!!!!!!! You're welcome?
My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...
Two muffins are sitting in a bar.
The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."
The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.
I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!
What foods are orphans allergic to? Homemade food.
We all know the joke: Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9.
But do you know why 9 is scared of 7?
Because you are supposed to eat 3 square meals a day (3 squared).
What is a computer's favorite snack? Cookies!
Which restaurants can an orphan not go to?
A family restaurant.
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
I would kill for something to eat--the cannibal.
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it? In case there's a salad dressing.
What do women and peanut butter have in common?
They're both easy to spread.
Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?
They ate the bat!
Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony. He opened up a pasta shop and made some macaroni.
Q: What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
A: Apples get picked! 😱
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."