Food jokes
Wanna hear a joke about corn?
Never mind, it's too corny.
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
Memes
What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
I feel bad for the guy in 9/11 who ordered a salami pizza. Instead, he just got a plane.
I had a cake for my gender reveal party. I cut it, and the inside was yellow...
Why were the twin towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plain.
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
What cookies did the orphans never try?
Home made cookies!
Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.