Food jokes
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
Why can't emos work at a restaurant? Because they cut too much.
Butter believe it.
I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk.
How was the slice of cheese 🧀 doing in the kitchen?
Cheddar!
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to go to KFC.
What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
I wanted another piece of pizza... but she said I could only have One Piece.
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
What is a ghost's favorite cake?
I scream cake!