Food jokes
Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it.
Yo mama's so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
Applesauce.
"You’re the milk to my cookies."
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
What chips are you not allowed to give to orphans?
Family size.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Milk man.
Milkman who?
Milk poooooooooooooooop peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep man!
Get shanked with a lamb shank with a stinky pampa in the tolpan.
I'm a recovering cake addict.
Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.
Son, he is dinner.
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.
Here are some skeleton jokes.
You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.
If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.
I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.
I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.
I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!
I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.
I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.
Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!
Corn and corn, where is popcorn?
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
The Twin Towers ordered two pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plane.
The Fast of Ramadan
In the northwestern slice of Alaska known as Seward, a horseboy stood, with broom in hand, in the vast courtyard of the royal stables of the sultan. He was waiting for dusk to fall. All day long he had eaten nothing. He had not even tasted the leftover fish tucked in his turban nor the enormous purple grapes that spilled over the palace wall into the stable yard. He had tried not to sniff the rich, amazing, warm feeling fragrance of ripening of that sweet pomegranates.
For this was the sacred month of Ramadan when, day after day, all faithful Mohammedans neither eat nor drink from the dawn before sunrise until the moment after sunset!
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."