Food jokes
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
How was the slice of cheese 🧀 doing in the kitchen?
Cheddar!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to go to KFC.
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long for fat people.
I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk.
Butter believe it.
Why can't emos work at a restaurant? Because they cut too much.
What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.
Welcome to Arby's, where your babies become our gravy!
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
I wanted another piece of pizza... but she said I could only have One Piece.
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!
What is a ghost's favorite cake?
I scream cake!
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.