Food jokes
Why do orphans use water for cereal? Cause their dad never came back with the milk.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
Memes
Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"
What type of flour do orphans use?
- Self-raising.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
I had a horse named Mayo, and sometimes Mayonnaise.
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
I feel bad for the guy in 9/11 who ordered a salami pizza. Instead, he just got a plane.
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.