Food jokes
What Costco food is associated with Michael Joseph Jackson?
The Jackson dog. It's 49-year-old sausage between 6-year-old buns.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
I feel bad for the guy in 9/11 who ordered a salami pizza. Instead, he just got a plane.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Memes
The best snack
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
I had a cake for my gender reveal party. I cut it, and the inside was yellow...
Why were the twin towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plain.
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
What cookies did the orphans never try?
Home made cookies!
Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.
Q. What type of flour do orphans get?
A. Self-raising flour.
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?