Food jokes
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
An Indian kid walked into the shop and had a curry down because they had no naan bread in stock.
My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.
Would you rather eat a brick or a matter baby?
Your mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.
How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.
Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.
What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?
Mashed potatoes.
Why are fat people fat? Because they eat like Indians eating curry, except fat people eat many more portions.
Why do orphans have water in their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
Why did the cow wiggle?
To make milkshake! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
The Twin Towers ordered Little Caesars, but instead got Dominos.
What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.
That was an egg-cellent joke!
What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?
Raisin' kids.
Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?
Son: No, I got 1k already.
Mom: Wait, what, how?
Son: Mom's wallet is magic.
Are you my pantry? Because you look like a snack ;)
If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and they got plain!
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.