Food jokes
What do you call it when you have two Indians, one Black, and a fat White?
A s'more.
My girlfriend broke up with me this morning, and we just started dating yesterday.
Now she's having a breakfast.
What is an obese lady's blood type?
Nutella.
What do people often say in a cold Mexican kitchen?
Brrrrrrito!
Why do people say "cheese" when they are taking a photo?
Because they were using the computer and thought about it.
Memes
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.
His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."
A man was sitting in the restaurant and ordered a whole buffet. He is visited by an oracle. Apollo says, "If you eat that buffet, everyone you love will die."
"Up yours," the man said, "What are they going to die of, famine?"
Moments later, there was an incident that took place in the restaurant. Everyone literally died. It turned out the restaurant had a B-. I said, "Is that really a thing groaning on the hospital?"
The doctor said, "Know that is your condition, you have hepatitis B-."
"What the FU***** SH**"
Apollo is sitting in Mount Olympus, dying also in laughter.
What happens if you mix a dick with a potato?
You get a dictator dic-dick-tator-potato!
If the broccoli said, "I look like a tree," then what did the mushroom say?
"I look like an umbrella."
"-Hey dude, you got some beef? You want some beef from me?"
"- No thanks... I'm vegetarian!"
What's Damo's favorite food?
Big slongs.
What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?
He's got some "sweet" moves!
The waiter recommended the rug meal.
She said it was delicious, but it's a tassle to make.
If I busted an egg on your head... The yolk would be on you... hahaha...
In America, you have Pop-Tarts. We in Germany here have Toastbrot.
Why do Mexicans eat tacos?
Because they're border hoppers.
Why do fat people like food?
The more the merrier.
Noob butter eater.