Food jokes
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar, and Flour.
What is black and long?
A line at KFC.
If I had 10 dino nuggies and Jamal tried to take one, I would have ten dino nuggies and Jamal's head.
You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
What's the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
Why are Asians so bad at baseball? ... Because they ate the bat!
Why do squirrels love dick?
Because it produces nut.
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Yum!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Women have eggs and milk in them...
And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.
Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?
Sir Loin.
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
What's red and white and lives in a blender?
A baby.
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
What did one squirrel say to the other? "Do you have any nuts?"