Food jokes
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
Down syndrome and brownies.
Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, brown, and yellow?
So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.
What do you call high Mexicans?
Baked beans ;)
Me: I’m going to get burrito 🌯
Friend: You can have my burrito baby.
Gay.
Friend: *begins to moan*
Me: Finna hang up.
Memes
managed to log into cupcakes mcdonalds account
So, this guy walked into a cannibal bar. The barista asked him what he wants, and the man ordered water. Then he left, because he wasn't a cannibal and just wanted a glass of water.
So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,
"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
Oh, fuckshit, bitch, damn cocksucker.
Pussy, asshole, cunt.
Mother fuckin' dirty whore, shat onto my lunch.
Pisscunt, damn bitch, suck my dick.
Jesus Harold Christ!
Shit bitch, cocksucker, Goddamn motherfucker, pussy, asshole cunt!
[God creating Asians] “Alright, and the design is finished, see our new model, the Asian. It has no hair at all.”
Angel asks, “Does it eat normal food?”
God replies, “(chuckling) Oh no, not at all.”
Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria, dumb butt!
Dick cheese, booty hole, yellow cum shot, anal shit, dick hole, ass brownies.
What is wrong with having chocolate for dessert? It tastes like shit, and I hate it.
I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a donut?
People want donuts.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Johnny eats a lot of ham, so he catches lots of spam.
What did the blender say to the orange juice?
"What the fuck are you, you are so fucking stupid, shut the fuck up."
What’s the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon.
Are you having rabbit and duck for dinner?
Yeah.
Why?
Because I got too obsessed with hares.