Food jokes
What do Africans eat for breakfast?
E-bola Cornflakes.
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
What kind of cake can an orphan not have?
Homemade.
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
So, a guy walks into a gas station and walks to the person working and says, "Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?" So she gets him one, and then he says, "No, I want a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch!"
Michael Jackson goes to his favorite bakery and says to the workers, "This is my favorite baker, hehe."
You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?
It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?
Wife: In a detective novel.
What's black and long?
- The line at KFC.
Why did the Twin Towers go to Uber Eats?
Because they wanted something plain.
I ordered my sandwich at a restaurant on 9/11 spicy, it came out plain.
Beans, beans, beans. Say what? Say beans, beans, beans.
Potatoes
The Cheerio Joke
Let's say you're in high school, and your popularity level was based on what Cheerio you are. So there's Extra-Frosty Cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted Cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there's the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there's your Cheerio which is the Chocolate Cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who's an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines.
So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut Cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular Cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty Cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty Cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes.
The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she's going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; "Oh there wasn't a punch line."
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?
His left shoulder.
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.
What’s long and black?
The line at KFC.