Food jokes
What's the difference between a cop and bacon?
Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked.
Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.
"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."
Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
Banana bread is cute.
Is your refrigerator running? "Yeah, I guess." Well, you better go catch it! Haha, I'm a girl, it's funny!
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
That's caketasic!
The only thing they can see are their chopsticks.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What happened when the corn got scolded? He got an earful!
What do you call an orphan when they eat a meal? A family dinner.
Krusty nut
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banna.
Banna who?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banna.
Banna who?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banna.
Banna who?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banna who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say Banna? Yup! 🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
I feel bad for the guy in 9/11 who ordered a salami pizza. Instead, he just got a plane.
Two Indians went to a fine restaurant. They ordered parathas with curry. HAHAHAHAHA
Your forehead is so big it drips pickle juice!
What kind of Panera Bread do pencils use?
Panera Lead.