Food jokes
A polar bear walks into a bar, asks the barman, “A pint of lager................. and a packet of crisps.”
The barman asks, “Why the large pause?”
What do you call a group of masturbating cows?
Beef stroganoff.
Do you like Wendy's when these nuts hit your face?
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert?
He was stuffed.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bagel."
"Bagel who?"
"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"
What did the corn say to the flying apple?
"That's corny."
My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"
What's the worst part about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What did the cookie say when he jumped off the cliff? Crumbs, ha ha!
Why did the car drive over the cake?
'Cause it was in tiers!! Lol, sorry this ain't funny.
What do you call a bloody pig?
HAMorrhage!
Q: What did the egg do when the bacon told it a joke?
A: It cracked up!
Remember, children, when you're hungry at 3:00, cook forks for 10 minutes, ok?
What do rappers like cantaloupe?
Because they’re always dropping fresh MELON!
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he wanted to drop some HOT PLATES.
What did the rapper say at the bakery?
"I need ALL the dough you got!"
How do rappers like their steaks?
With lots of SIZZLE!
What’s the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?
A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.
Q. What movie is a fat person most afraid of?
A. The Hunger Games.
What did the egg say to the tuna?