There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.
Food Jokes
Why did Brandon harass Sydney because she didn't want to eat his foreskin?
Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"
I said, "On a stove!"
In a bowl of golden delight, I savored each bite so bright, The potato salad, oh so fine, Left me feeling oh so divine.
The diced potatoes, oh so neat, In a dressing so cool and sweet, With onions and eggs, a treat, My taste buds did dance and greet.
The mayonnaise, a creamy dream, With mustard's zesty scheme, Together they did blend so well, My senses did take a spell.
The herbs, a fragrant delight, Added flavor with their might, Parsley and dill, a perfect pair, In this salad beyond compare.
So here's to the potato salad, A culinary work of art, That left me full and satisfied, And in my heart, a special part.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought a donut was dough shaped like a nut.
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.
"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."
Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"
How does a cannibal like his meat?
Human.
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?
You put food on the ceiling and they start jumping.
It's Caesar salad.
I didn’t eat breakfast because I’m starving myself.
What was Beethoven called when he only ate beef?
Beefthoven!
What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.
But if you're vegan, you call him food.
If you're poor, you eat the skin.
What did the mustard say to the ketchup at the race?
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
because estava malito :)
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
What was purple and conquered the world?
Alexander The Grape.
All these oranges, but you're still the one for me.
What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?
If only Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass's sandwich...
