Food jokes
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.
Every culture has weird food.
Australians eat vegemite. The British eat haggis. The French eat snails. The Chinese eat dogs. The Americans eat their young siblings' private parts.
What do you get if you do not eat? Dry.
Why did the North Tower want chocolate ice cream?
Because he didn't want plane.
What's the food orphans can't eat?
Family-sized ice cream.
join the nugget army
I ate too many temmie flakes... I guess I got a TEMMIE ACHE!!!!
My name is Bob, and I am a cow.
My grandfather was a knight, and his name was Sir Loin.
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
I like mangoes.
I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
What do you call a white girl having a seizure? A vanilla shake.
You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."
Eggs are so egg-cellent that they are sunny-side up.
Yo mamma is so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to Chick-fil-A.